How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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