i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
they need to just BURY HIM!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
