are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
even my farts smell like vagina
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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