she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize