Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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