So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
