Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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