is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
