You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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