He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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