Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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