I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
