he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
