I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
