I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
