So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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