I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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