They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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