Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
