Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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