last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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