well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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