Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
