in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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