I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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