just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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