no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
