I hate your face
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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