Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
