if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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