yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
