Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
