I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
