This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
