I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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