when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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