I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
