Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
