Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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