farters have to be the big spoon...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
