I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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