It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
