...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Randomize
