I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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