: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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