OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
