i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
