have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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