It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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