i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize