i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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