I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
