Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
