No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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