This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
