Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
