There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I met the friendliest cop last night
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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