I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize