Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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