I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
