Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
