Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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