Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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